Title: In and Out of Time (1/?)
Author: wonderbread9
Rating: PG-13 - R
Characters: The Cast of Kyle XY, OCs here and there
Pairings: Kyle/Amanda, Kyle/Jessi
Warnings: It's going to get a bit strange...AU-ish, takes place directly after Life Support©, and will include some elements of what I’ve seen of pictures on . So, there is a spoiler-ish warning for those who have yet to check those out.
Author's Note: Took a page from Roswell’s book and decided to take a crack at the time travelling theme. To my fellow Kessi-lovers, don’t hate me too much. There’s a lot of Jessi!angst at the beginning, but it gets better, I SWEAR!!!
Summary: “D’you…”Kyle stopped, started again. “D’you think I should tell her? Tell Amanda the truth?”
Nicole paused, thinking, before she met Kyle’s gaze sympathetically. “Kyle…I know how you feel about her, and…if you feel that she’s strong enough, and that you’re ready, then tell her. What do you have to lose?”
8o8o8
“I swear I’ll melt if you touch me at all,
But then I’ll ask you to do it again, and again.”
--Angels & Airwaves, The Gift
Stepping out of the hospital and into the sunlight of a Seattle spring, Nicole breathed in the scents that came to her: the warm grass, the breeze, the scent of flowers and their perfume wafting across her senses; she was finally free of the cold, sterilized walls of Seattle General and could finally breathe a sigh of relief. He’d been stuck under the doctors’ care for little over a week after the accident and kept on close observation after her “miraculous” healing from her injuries. The doctors had wanted to monitor her, just to make sure that nothing was going wrong with her body, but once scan after scan and check up after check up revealed nothing amiss with her body, the baffled doctors had no choice, but release her; with a promise, of course, that she would check back with them if she felt any unusual discomfort. It had been a pretty close call—the accident. Too close, in fact; it left her shaken, even after she had found out that there was nothing wrong with her physically. She had come so close to death, so close to her life’s ending, and if it hadn’t had been for Kyle…
She turned and glanced back at the young savant in question, watching as he loaded the few bits of luggage that Stephen had brought for her into the trunk of the car; Josh was helping, telling a joke or some such that caused a brief grin to flicker across Kyle’s face for a moment and a twinkle to spark in his eye. Despite her injuries, despite the occasional pain that she still felt, it was nice to him smiling, nice to see him happy even if only for a little while. It was nice to see all of her children happy; so much had happened in the Trager household, so many changes that might’ve broken any other family had only made hers stronger. It was nice to see, a nice reassurance to have, that if anything had happened to her, her family would’ve been able to stick together, would’ve been able to wrestle through the dark time, leaning on one another.
Even Lori and Jessi were getting along, something she not expected to happen many months down the line, and it brought a brief, but welcome rush of contentment and pride to her being, giving her hope that maybe, just maybe…everything would work out fine.
“Ready to go?” Stephen asked, surprising her from her reverie. She turned to him and the car door that he held open for her, smiled gratefully and nodded.
“More than ready,” she admitted, smile still in place. She stepped up to her husband and kissed him ‘thanks’ before getting into the car and settling in the seat, ready, and more than happy, to return home.
“Alright, everybody,” she heard Stephen called to their wayward teenagers. “We ready?” She didn’t see their four nods of unison, but soon the car was full of pushing and shoving teenagers, each fighting for leg room to sit and be comfortable for the drive.
“You know your feet are in my way,” came Jessi’s saucy complaint. Nicole glanced back just in time to see Lori shoot the dark-haired girl a glare of annoyance before shifting and pushing herself into Josh.
“Hey, space much,” Josh growled in aggravation and tried to push his sister over. Lori gave a cry of protest and Kyle looked on at the two of them in alarm. Nicole sighed. A mother’s job was never done…
“Alright, you three,” she chastised, looking back at the still pushing and shoving teens. They stilled their movements and looked at her with equal looks of guilt. “Cool it,” she continued in a calming, motherly tone. “We’ll be home soon and then you guys’ll have your own space again. Sound good?”
The three nodded, and Nicole grinned, turning back to sit straight in her chair, glancing at her husband. He shot her a smile of his own, and whispered, “Welcome back.”
Nicole’s grin widened and she settled deeper into her seat. She wouldn’t have had it any other way…
8o8o8
Latnok.
Latnok.
The mysterious organization had been an uncomfortable thorn in his side since Adam had told him about them nearly a year ago, a shadow organization that was more than willing to use any means necessary to get what they wanted out of people, and now…now Kyle had signed away his freedom, and possibly his life, to the devil. He didn’t know what that could mean, what they were going to do to him, and telling himself that it had all been for Nicole’s benefit, to save the only mother that he’d known, was slowly fading to a pitiful whimper at the back of his mind. The truth was he was scared. He was terrified. Latnok had kidnapped Amanda and had nearly harmed her and her life with their technologies, and now, he was agreeing to help them and who knew what kind of trouble that could mean.
“It was…pretty close, wasn’t it?” came the quietly spoken inquiry from behind; Kyle turned with a start. He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he had not expected anyone to come out onto the front porch but he; his usually adept hearing hadn’t heard the soft, padding footsteps of Jessi as she approached. He smiled for her benefit, even if the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He had so much to think about, so much going on inside, that he didn’t think he could deal with anyone else right at that moment; not even Jessi. She came to stand beside him, gave him a small smile before looking out from the front porch to the strange, strange world that lay beyond.
“It was pretty close,” Kyle replied and shrugged, letting out a gust of air as he did so. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost her.”
“You and me both,” Jessi admitted quietly. She glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he trained his ears, strained them just that little bit and listened; gently tapped keys were playing in the distance, an idle tune that he didn’t know, but was glad to hear. Amanda was at her piano, probably just idly lingering there, maybe dreaming, maybe just thinking. The thought brought a sad smile to Kyle’s face: she wasn’t thinking about him; she wasn’t playing for him. She was probably imagining what college life would be like, what endless possibilities lay before her, and he wasn’t included.
“Kyle?” Jessi called, her tone uncertain. His concentration broken, the sound of Amanda’s playing fading, he turned to Jessi, meeting her brown eyes with his deep blue. “What’s going to happen with Latnok?”
“I don’t know,” he answered, his tone as uncertain as hers. “I just don’t know. I keep…” he hesitated, and looked deep into her imploring brown eyes, and figured that the only person he had left to talk to about this was Jessi…”I keep trying to tell myself that it was all for Nicole, that going to them was the right thing to do, but…” He stopped, feeling the familiar rush of conflicted emotions wash over him: was he right? Should he have trusted them? Had there been a better way and he’d just missed it? Was he doing the right thing?
“It was the right thing.” Her voice was firm. “If you hadn’t, Nicole would be dead and…and we’d be alone. You saved her, Kyle. Always remember that.”
He nodded, craning his head, wanting to hear, just once more, that comforting sound of keys playing, lightly strummed, notes hanging poised in the air, but there was nothing, only silence, and Kyle’s heart felt heavy in his chest. He didn’t think he could do this, live this way, be who he was.
“You’re thinking about Amanda again,” Jessi stated glumly, and Kyle looked at her, shrugging helplessly.
“I think…I think I should tell her,” he replied. “Maybe if I did, maybe…Everything would be so much easier.”
“For who, Kyle?” she asked, suddenly annoyed. “You? The Tragers? Precious Amanda? You know what Foss said. Dragging her into this, this whole messed up world that we live in, is that really what you want to do to her?”
“Jessi,” Kyle pleaded, his eyes swimming with emotions that he just could not express: confusion, hurt, pain. “I just..I just want her to know the truth.”
“I’ll bet.” Jessi pressed her lips into a thin line, shook her head and looked away. It was a while before she could speak, a while before she could look at him with steel in her eyes and lacing every word in her voice. “Fine. Tell her. Drag her down, kicking and screaming. I’ll bet she forgives you, and you can live a lie of normalcy, as if you’re not better, smarter or greater than anyone else. Go on. Tell her, Kyle. Tell her. Bring her into our crazy, messed up, secret world.”
She left in an angry huff, her foot steps heavy against the hardwood floor of the porch, before she walked through the threshold of the front doorway and slammed it with the force of her anger. Kyle could feel the house shake minutely and winced. Great, just great. He’d managed to anger Jessi once again, and he knew—when Jessi got into one of her moods—not even he could pull her out of it. Kyle’s shoulders slumped and looked out over the quiet street of the Seattle suburb that he’d called home for nearly three years of his life. It was so still, so silent. Not even the birds were flying or squirrels playing leapfrog with one another on his or the neighbors’ lawns.
He wondered how a world such as this, so quiet, so peaceful, could be home to such secrets as his, such lies and deceptions, such trickery. He wished he could wave his hand and make everything make sense, wished he could just fit this world and its jigsaw pieces into such an order so that nothing in his life would ever be chaotic again. But he knew that no matter what he wished, no matter what he wanted, it would always be this mess. He sighed and looked to his right, where Mrs. Bloom was stepping out of her home, a self-satisfied grin spread across her face and…Amanda trailing after. Kyle watched her, watched as Amanda pointedly ignored him and his longing gaze, getting into her mother’s car and the two of them driving off. He watched the car as it sped passed his house, willing for just a moment, for Amanda’s gaze to fall on him, for her to see him, notice him, see the pain that he was in, that his heart was just as broken as hers had to have been.
But no…
Her gaze stayed resolutely forward, and the dagger that was twisting in Kyle’s heart dug just that deeper. His shoulders slumped, his spirits sank even further, and he felt more dejected than he had in a very long time.
8o8o8
She had seen him, before she’d even stepped outside into the warm spring air, standing on his front porch; his face creased in deep thought and, in spite of herself, wondered what he was thinking. What could be troubling those impossibly perfect, pale features, creasing them with deep frown lines of worry? Was he thinking about school? His friends? Was he thinking about Jessi? Or, and her heart leapt just slightly in her chest, was he thinking about her?
She watched him from the one window in her bedroom that gave her a vantage point of the Trager’s front porch, where she saw Jessi talking to him before storming off angrily, and it gave Amanda a vicious satisfaction before she caught herself and shoved those thoughts and feelings forcefully away. She chastised herself soundly: she couldn’t be thinking about him, spying on him and wondering about what was going on with him. The Kyle and Amanda chapter was done. Through. Over. Finished. Finito.
And yet, here she was…thinking about him again and wishing that there was just someway….some way that she could just go over to the Trager’s house and…
Stop, a voice commanded firmly in her head that sounded oddly like Hilary’s. Just stop. You ended it with him, remember?
But she couldn’t help the longing that overcame her and the memories that haunted her. In her dreams she saw him, his pale skin, his strong hands and arms surrounding her. She felt safe with Kyle, despite it all. Despite everything that happened, she still believed that Kyle still cared for her, still wanted her, still wanted to be with her. She couldn’t deny the feelings that still stirred in her gut when she saw him and the anger that still possessed her when she saw Jessi anywhere near him. She shook her herself all over, wanting to get rid of the images of Kyle…of Kyle kissing Jessi and the sickening feeling of betrayal that had slammed into her and nearly felled her on the spot.
She had wanted to kill both of them: Kyle for making her believe stupidly in love and that he wasn’t like any other guy that she had ever been with, and Jessi for getting something from Kyle that only Amanda thought she deserved. But all she could do was storm out of that house, her hands clenched at her sides in tight, white fists of rage. She’d gone home immediately, not even wanting to slam her emotions out on her piano. No, she went straight to her room and cried. Even, now she hated herself for that weakness of emotion, and the love for Kyle that had still persisted under the wild tumult of her rage.
Even at the recital, when she had felt justifiable fury rushing through her, wanting to possess her and do serious harm to him, she allowed him to touch her, allowed him to just…be Kyle, simple, weird, strange Kyle one last time.
Amanda sighed in frustration, rolling her eyes, and when her mother called her, she was grateful—for once—for providing her with a much needed distraction. And, when she stepped off the front porch of her home, she pointedly ignored Kyle, even though everything in her being was screaming at her to give into her longing and plunge head first into Kyle’s arms.
But no, she got into her mother’s car, a cage of steel clamping down over her emotions, over the ache that surrounded her heart and choked it. She slammed the car door, slamming it in the face of his yearning, slammed it in the face of the confusing whir of sadness, anger, hurt and love that she felt for the boy that watched her, desperately wanting her to acknowledge his presence.
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
She wouldn’t.
She wouldn’t.
She—
But when her mother made a left on the main street that crossed hers and Kyle’s street, Amanda looked back, her body trembling, her lips quivering and tears wanting to fall.
8o8o8
Even though she was home and was supposed to be resting—doctor’s orders, came the stern echo of her treating physician’s voice in her head—Nicole couldn’t help be feel that there was something amiss in her household. Maybe Kyle’s extrasensory perceptivity was rubbing off on her or maybe she had just been a psychologist too long and could recognize the undercurrents of a problem that could seriously blow-up in everyone’s faces unless someone did something about it.
First there was Jessi, skulking to her room after coming from the front porch, and Nicole could too readily identify the look that curled about the young girl’s features. It had something to do with Kyle. It always had something to do with Kyle whenever Jessi got that look on her face: something akin to devastation, but not quite ‘end-of-my-world-as-I-know-it’ there. She wanted to tend to Jessi first, but she knew that—if Kyle were the source of it—it would be best to talk to him first. Even if he didn’t think it, Kyle had a great deal of sway over Jessi’s emotions: one kind word or look from him could brighten up the girl’s day or even couple of days.
So, Nicole stepped out of the kitchen where she had been drinking her tea and attempting to take it easy, taking her still steaming mug with her and going out to the front porch where—sure enough—Kyle stood with a pensive look on his face that told all the world that this was a young man who held an enormous weight on his shoulders. He turned swiftly at her approach, a defensive look clouding his features before he realized it was her and his face relaxed into a wry smile. And had Kyle’s smiles ever gotten wry? Nicole made a mental note of that and sent him a mothering smile before coming to stand next to him and asking, in her best psychologist’s voice, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kyle sighed and looked away. “Not really, but…” He shrugged, trying to shake himself free of some unfathomable trouble that Nicole could only imagine.
“Don’t worry, Kyle,” she said soothingly. “Just take your time.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood beside her, watching the quiet neighborhood around them, his blue eyes focusing and unfocusing as if he were reliving an entire lifetime in that one second.
“It’s just…” he struggled. “It’s just the accident and Latnok and Jessi and Amanda and just…everything. I don’t know…I just don’t know how to handle it anymore. I want to tell Amanda the truth, but…I don’t want her to…to look at me like I’m some kind of…” He stopped, and turned to her helplessly. “I just…And if I tell Amanda, and she forgives me, then Jessi’s going to be…And now, Latnok wants me to…I just…”
Nicole immediately put her mug down on the surface of the porch railing and pulled Kyle into the tightest, most reassuring hug she had in her arsenal. His arms circled around him and she could feel the desperation radiating off of him in waves. So calm and collected, usually so in charge of himself and any situation around him, Kyle was now truly revealing the scared, unsure teenager that he truly was. It was then that Nicole felt a motherly sense of protection and anger come over her: it wasn’t fair that Kyle had to have the weight of the world fall on his shoulders. It wasn’t fair that everyone had to depend on him so much, when he had the right to just grow up and be normal.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she said, running a calming hand through his dark hair as his body trembled and sobs shook him. “Just let it all out. Just let it all go. Kyle, you’re only a teenage boy. You’re not supposed to figure everything out. You’re not supposed to know everything or what to say or do to make everything alright. You’ll wear yourself thin.”
“But…” he started, and she pulled back, meeting his teary gaze with her own.
“No,” she said, firmly. “Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t put this kind of pressure on yourself, alright?”
He nodded, and she couldn’t help but think that he looked like such a lost little boy at that moment, his gaze so trusting and his emotions shown so freely. She had dealt with so many cases and so many troubled children and teens that his willingness to talk to her was refreshing.
“One day at a time, okay?”
He smiled at her and nodded again.
She smiled at him, wiping his tears, before she picked up her mug. “Feeling better?”
“A little,” he admitted gratefully, his smile going a bit wider. She breathed a relieved sigh.
“Good. Now,” she tapped him gently on the nose. “I’m going to go check on Jessi.”
The happy look immediately dropped from his face and he looked towards the direction of the house and the stairs that led up to the second floor.
“She’s pretty mad at me,” he acknowledged, a troubled look clouding his features. Nicole smiled for his benefit.
“Don’t you worry about her,” she said taking a sip of her tea. “I’ll take care of it. You just stay out here and relax.”
She turned on her heel to go inside and deal with the other wayward teenager that had come under roof, but stopped when Kyle called her name. She turned back to him and raised her eyebrows.
“D’you…”Kyle stopped, started again. “D’you think I should tell her? Tell Amanda the truth?”
Nicole paused, thinking, before she met Kyle’s gaze sympathetically. “Kyle…I know how you feel about her, and…if you feel that she’s strong enough, and that you’re ready, then tell her. What do you have to lose?”
He nodded, and she smiled on last time before turning on her heel and searching for Jessi. She didn’t have to search for long and found her seated with her knees to her chest, in Kyle’s tub. She stepped carefully in the room and Jessi glanced at her before looking down in her lap and saying in a muffled tone, “I hurt him again, didn’t I?”
Nicole winced, hating the defeated sound to Jessi’s voice. She had to remember that this girl—this young woman—had been through so much and had to continuously live with the memories of the things that she had done and the things that had been done to her; the way Jessi knew was to lash out in anger. It would be a long time before she learned to turn that instinctual reaction to any negative stimuli to something positive. Nicole stepped deeper into Kyle’s and Josh’s room, setting her mug down on Josh’s dresser and sitting herself next Jessi, carefully avoiding her still healing stitches.
“Jessi, Kyle just has a lot to deal with,” Nicole replied in a placating tone. Jessi shrugged helplessly and turned to the older woman, tears shining in her eyes.
“That’s all I ever seem to do though,” she protested, her voice as helpless as she looked and frustrated. “I just hurt him, and keep hurting him, and I don’t mean to. I just…” The dark-haired teen stopped abruptly and looked away. It was times like these that Nicole was thankful for being a trained psychologist. If she weren’t, if she were someone else, she knew she wouldn’t know how to approach this situation. But she did, she was a trained professional, and she knew that all she had to do was wait.
And, like magic, Jessi continued. Haltingly at first, but getting stronger with each passing moment: “It’s just…Sarah left me and, and my father…he abandoned me. Emily lied to me and everyone hates me, treats me like I’m this ticking time bomb that’s just going to explode…or, or this animal that needs to be caged. I’m trying, Nicole. I’m trying so hard, but everything…it’s all so confusing and sometimes things just don’t fall into place and everything’s this jigsaw, and Kyle’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s the only one…And I just…I keep hurting him, and I don’t know how to just stop. I just…I want to stop.”
And for the second time that day, Nicole felt that mothering instinct take over. Both Kyle and Jessi were two extraordinary beings, forced into the crazy and hectic life that neither of them wanted, and Nicole just wished that someway, somehow she could make their hurting stop, make it all simple and uncomplicated.
“I’m so sorry, Jessi.” She pulled the girl into a tight hug over the tub’s rim, and the girl clung to her like she was the only life line the teen had to this world. “If you feel like you’re hurting him, then all I can say is just…just try to understand things from his point of view. You’re both so much alike, but you’re also so vastly different. You’re both these two extraordinary human beings with so much to give to the world, but we seem to forget sometimes that you’re just kids, that you’re just trying to figure things out. And this is one of those things, one of those tough, tough things that you’ve got to wade through. But understand, I’m here. I’m here for the both of you and if I can help it—” she pulled back and cupped Jessi’s face tenderly in her hands—“I won’t be going anywhere any time soon.”
Jessi nodded and smiled a shaky smile at the older woman. “Thanks. Thanks, Nicole.”
“Any time, kiddo,” Nicole replied playfully. “Just…try to be careful with one another. Try to see things from each other’s points of view. Try to understand Kyle bears a weight on his shoulders and that you do too, and that…you’re not supposed to have everything line up in a perfect order. Sometimes, life is a messy, crappy place and we’ve got to clean it up.”
“Okay,” Jessi replied. “I get it. I-I get it. I’ll try not to be so…I…I know what I have to do.”
A frown creased Nicole’s brow for a split second. “And what’s that?”
“See things from his point of view,” Jessi answered, looking away. “Be…Be sympathetic.”
Nicole smiled, even though something was firing off warning bells in her mind. Her smile wavered. “Jessi?”
“Yes, Nicole.” Jessi looked up, a set expression echoing in her eyes. Nicole looked at her squarely.
“Just…don’t do anything…brash.”
Jessi smiled again, but this time it lacked any warmth and appeared sad around the edges. “Don’t worry.
“I know what I have to do.”
8o8o8
She had found him that night, holed up in his room while Josh and Andy were downstairs playing up a storm on G4, Stephen and Nicole in the kitchen talking quickly and Lori commandeering the house phone in her bedroom to get some ‘Mark and Lori alone time’. The look that she saw creasing his features was one of longing and need, and deep in her heart—in the place, the secret place that she let no one touch; let no one see or caress—Jessi felt a pang, a sharp thrust of heartache cut through the wall that she had built up around herself. Kyle was seated at his bedroom window, eyes glued to the warmly lit window that sat directly across from his and permitted him, at one time, long ago, a glimpse of the one girl that he had cared for the moment he had seen her. Jessi breathed and looked away, angry at herself for feeling any sense of sympathy or remorse. After all, it wasn’t like the separation of Kyle and Amanda was her concern. She wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, given a little time, he’d forget, he’d forget the gentle way she smiled at him, the way she would touch him and just see, see that she was here, that she could touch him and caress him too.
But seeing him now, looking at him, watching the slump of his shoulders and hearing the way his heart beat faster at even the hint of Amanda’s shadow crossing her bedroom window, her mind went back to earlier that day and the conversation she had with Nicole. She wasn’t here for her own selfish reasons. Throughout this entire time, she had allowed her own selfishness to override any other emotion that she had felt. Nicole had told her to see things from his point of view, to try and understand the world from the way he perceived it. And while she could admit that she couldn’t quite angle her mind to that feat, she could at least understand: for now, for now, she could give in and give him something that he craved, that he desperately wanted even though he didn’t need it.
Not like the way she needed him, not like how she needed him to make everything make sense, not like how she needed him to be there, to see her and be the only one who had looked deep into the secret places in her mind and never hate her for the darkness he found there. She stood in the door way, her eyes glued to every movement that he made, every shift of his body, her wanting, needing, to reach out, to caress him and feel his arms wrap around her, threatening to envelope her, ensnare her in its poisonous embrace.
“Kyle,” Jessi called out, and walked into the room as he turned to look at her, unshed tears in his eyes. She wanted to cry herself, could feel her heart breaking in the cave of her chest, knowing that what she was going to say and what she was going to do was going to hurt for a very, very long time. His blue eyes met her brown and she smiled sadly, taking his hand in hers and tugging him into a standing position. He frowned at her, but when he went to ask her what she was doing, she shushed him quiet and pulled him to follow her.
It was all she could do to keep herself from breaking down right then and there, the steady beat of his heart beat kept her going, the way his hand circled around hers in a cocoon of warmth; she savored all of this, every small, minutely fine detail, locking it in her memory for always. She knew that no one would ever love her, not the way Kyle loved Amanda, but she could take this, she could take this tiny trust that he gave her, the way his breathing quickened and slowed, the way the muscles played along his arm as she held him tightly and pulled him outside, down the steps of the Trager home and along that short, short distance to Amanda Bloom’s.
Her feet were heavy, her body trembling. She looked back and saw Kyle watching the house with a sense of awe and wonder. It hurt to see that look on his face. They stopped at the stoop of Amanda’s front steps and Jessi swallowed painfully, staring up at him, and wishing fleetingly for something, anything to hear her pain, to see her heartbreak and show her that the world wasn’t really this cruel, cruel place.
“Go,” Jessi said quietly. Kyle, startled, looked at her, hope shining from his blue, blue eyes. She didn’t meet his gaze, just dropped her eyes down and stared hard at the ground. She released his hand after a final squeeze, letting hers fall to her side and shifted away from him.
“Jessi,” he started. She cut him off.
“Just go.” She swallowed thickly and pressed her lips into a hard thin line, lest he see them trembling. He lingered beside her for a few seconds more.
“Thank you,” he whispered quietly before bounding up the steps. The shard that had been driven into Jessi’s heart since this whole mess had started was plunged deeper and all she could do was breathe, feeling the tears want to fall. She turned on her heel and, with one swift surge of power, broke into a run. She ran away from Amanda Bloom’s house, away from the welcoming warmth of the Trager’s household and, more importantly, away from Kyle and his blue, blue eyes that seared her soul. She ran, feeling the Seattle night air slapping her face, pulling her hair hard behind her. The stars above were cold witnesses to her fleeting form as it darted in and out of the glow of street lamps, passed parked cars and out, out somewhere, somewhere lost in the suburbs and city that she wanted so desperately to call home.
She didn’t know where she was going, and didn’t care.
Anywhere was better than here.
8o8o8
His hand—his whole body even—was trembling as he raised it to knock on Amanda’s door. Emotions rushed through him—hope, fear, joy, terror—and memories streamed across his vision—hands, lips, the ethereal sound of a piano’s gentle playing; the first time he was kissed; the first time he kissed her. All he could think, all he could feel, was the low hum of his body and blazing hot rush of adrenaline surging through his limps. His breathing was ragged, his senses trained on any and every movement that was made in the house before him, from the creak of the flood boards to the sound of feet coming down the steps—his heart beat sped up faster—and walking to the door. A blurry face peeked out at him from stucco glass window beside the door—blonde hair, blue eyes and lips the color of ripened cherries—and it came open to permit one very annoyed Amanda Bloom.
But that didn’t deter him, that didn’t stop him. He was going to tell her, he was going to tell her everything. He could feel the rush of exhilaration wash through him and he smiled at her and she was caught off guard. She frowned at him, pursed her lips and looked back to where he was sure her mother was seated on the couch, probably reading, probably drinking her fair share of wine. He couldn’t tell and didn’t care at that moment.
“What are you doing here, Kyle?” she asked quietly, meeting his gaze with hers. “I have nothing left to say to you. I have nothing—”
“But I have something to say to you,” he cut in firmly before she could start an angry tirade and slam the door in his face. He heard her heart beat pick up, saw her face flush and wanted so desperately to touch her, to cradle her face in his hands and kiss her until she was breathless and dumb with passion. But he couldn’t, he had to tell her, he had to tell the truth. Everything he wanted to say was burning at the back of his throat, was torturing him like hot lava that needed to be released.
“Amanda,” he began, breathing deep and steeling himself for any reaction that she may have to what he was going to say. “All this time I’ve been hiding, I’ve been trying to keep you safe from what I am and who I am…but with all my secrets, I-I drove you away and that was never my intention…I just wanted to keep you safe, to keep you away from all of this.”
“Kyle, what are you talking about?” she asked, her face creased in puzzlement. “What does this have to do with what happened?”
He breathed deep, swallowed, and met her questioning gaze head on. “Amanda…it’s time I told you the truth.”
8o8o8
No comments:
Post a Comment